California, I like you.

Apparently I’m too negative when I write. There’s a lot of colors to my life — but I admittedly tend to chose a dim pallet when I paint. Bright colors stand out too much. I’d rather wear them than reflect on them. Today let’s try to reflect on them. For me.

Yes I am unemployed. Yes I have gained a couple of kg’s these past weeks — I’m sure. Yes, Encinitas, maybe just — well maybe just is not my thing. California is large, diverse, filled with people from all walks of life that seem to share on thing in common. They love the easy life. I say this, truly, with no bitterness. Yesterday I went to Mission Beach. A cove that was right out of a Holywood movie. Three elements: a wide Beach, a narrow pedestrian road and residential outward facing houses. All three elements combined to give a vast, but cosy element to the beach. America loves to combine shit all the time. Props to them for this movie-like creation. I criticise the States a lot, but it’s hard to not be in awe of their unique concoction of cultures that makes places like California accessible to such a wide range of people.

I was at the beach, with some friends of my brothers — soon to be — wife’s sister. They were from Atlanta. I mess with Atlanta folk. Walking with Javi, my family friend, to find a restroom, I looked. I hadn’t felt this calm since I had arrived. Barefoot, sun-shining, hair stiff & sticky — curtesy of the sea salt. I observed the little bungalows, packed on either side of the wide roads that seem to continue for an eternity. Half lit LED’s littered the grainy, sand-like facades. I get it — I told myself. I like this too.

Sometimes things are better as an idea. An ideal. In one life one can’t possibly dig to the bottom of every sow. Scratch every itch. Acclimate to every environment. I’m glad I got a taste of California. That I attended a live concert of Chris Stapleton. Laid by the beach with new acquaintances playing Skull King. Felt the cali breeze while sharing a towel with a beautiful girl. Life is good. YKWIM?

I forget that criticism comes from the luxury of experience.

I criticise a lot. Sometimes it’s nice to just let the movie play out and not have to question the directors vision. Yesterday I let myself be taken. A mellow feeling. Tomorrow I’m back in my chosen home. My questions and uncertainties won’t cease — but at least I was able to slip out of my little world and enter somebody else’s. My brother is getting married — I’ve heard news that I will be amongst the two chosen MC’s. May take a little bit of preparation. Argentina will be amongst the special guests attending the wedding. I must ensure to be the bridge that maintains civility between those my brothers chose and those he was born with. This week I took the necessary steps to establish a connection — a rapport — with the people I had only encountered through my brothers Instagram stories. A success. A step the right direction.